Witness Affection Program
by Itachi's Dark Princess
Summary: Two girls get put into a witness protection program after a run in with Orochimaru and are sent to the Uchiha police force where sparks fly between the girls and the cheif of police, Itachi Uchiha and his partner Deidera Iwa. non-massacre.
1. Demonic Police Dudes

Witness affection program

Anzu charged down the ageing corridors hurdling over the various beams falling from the decaying roof.

Her strawberry blond hair fanned out behind her billowing like a super hero's cape.

She finally reached the double doors of _his _lair and hurled herself against the doors causing it to explode inwardly splintering the wood inside the room and on its in habitants.

He narrowed his golden snaky eyes at her and gave her a venomous glare.

Poor Ai was tied to the chair, tears streamed down her face.

Her spiky pixie cut flaxen hair was messier than usual.

She gave Anzu a pleading look her emerald eyes brimming with fresh tears.

"ORLA!" she screamed in rage projecting all the rage into her voice.

"My name is not Orla you foolish girl" Orochimaru snarled between clenched teeth.

Slyly reaching into her pockets Anzu whipped out eight small round smoke bombs "whatever Oreo" she taunted throwing them in his direction.

He coughed hacking violently in the middle of the room, the purple fumes filling the room.

He recovered quickly and leaped over to Ai, ripped out the gag and pressed the knife to her neck, "any last words" he hissed (no pun intended).

"Actually, I do, did I ever tell you that you have a stab-able

face" Ai snarled.

Before he could even attempt to reply, Anzu leapt onto his back as Ai wrestled the knife from his grip and stabbed him in the face.

He roared in agony whilst clutching his face blood leaked out between hid deathly pale digits.

Suddenly Anzu was dragging Ai down the eerie corridors desperately searching for an exit.

Finally they came to a blinding light an they charged out into the ally.

They stumbled into the ally rubbing their eyes in the harsh street light .

Anzu being the more coherent and less traumatized of the two fished her keys out from the jaws of her zipper pocket.

Scrambling desperately they reached their car a canary yellow mini.

With a sharp twist of her wrist Anzu skilfully pried the door open.

She chucked Ai in the back who looked ready to begin hyperventilating and probably would any second now Anzu on the other hand was running on adrenalin only and she almost hit empty when his voice boomed "I'LL GET YOU TWO AND'

Anzu cut him off "LET ME GUESS OUR LITTLE DOG TOO" she roared, climbing into the drivers seat laughing manically.

Pulling out of the alley the goons arrived all piling out of the double door like pigs to a trough.

As they began to drive away a hail off bullets sloppily descended on them.

Anzu briefly noted that the bullets made a _whiz_-_thunk _soundwhen they punctured the windshield leaving little holes that branched out into frosty webs on the glass.

Ai was on the floor of the car her temporary trench sheltering her from the silver rain that was upon them.

When they finally were out of range Anzu's hands were shaking violently she tightened her grip on the steering wheel to stop the shaking.

"You always have to attract the creepers with the guns" Anzu joked in a shaky manner.

**AI'S P.O.V**

Suddenly I bolted up right attempting to catch my breath. I was clutching the arm rest on the planes chair. We were on our way to the fancy- pants Uchiha police station well fancy for us because they had something that we didn't have…money. We were on our way to the main office of the Uchiha police force who were handling the case of Orochimaru and who were going to be organising the witness protection program for us.

As we got off the plane we were greeted by what Anzu referred to as 'The gay brigade' aka the wonderful escorts from the Uchiha police station that looked like the demonic men in black. As you probably can guess that car ride with them was going to be a very enjoyable trip that me and Anzu would extremely enjoy. Surprisingly against all odds we didn't have as much fun as we thought. Firstly we thought that the driver was mute but then we realised that he was just ignoring us we tried to make the remaining guys have an emotional break- down by asking about their relations with their parents then realised that they were emotionless. Our solution to that was to cause an actual break- down (we slashed the tires ). Finally after a change of tires and much glaring we arrived in the police station.

The station was bland and uncomfortable we teetotal out of place the spiky blond and the red head against a sea of cloned brunettes, awkward. We felt like prisoners as we waited for our executioner *cough, cough* I mean the dignified officer that would help us out and I quote : 'during this terrifyingly horrific unfortunate situation ', cause he didn't use a dictionary to put together that sentence. Just then the door creaked open to reveal …

**A/N **dude this is scary it's my first story so go easy on me or I'll get Minimum Ride after you (that was not a threat) you don't know scary till you meet her she's my best friend. honest I'm not an evil vindictive liar… kinda.


	2. The Almost Great Escape

**A/N ****OMG! You guys reviewed you really care! Ha virtual threats actually work! Thanks so **

**much so here is the second chapter, enjoy ****J**

The door creaked open to reveal a tall dark haired Uchiha (big surprise there) he looked like the strong, silent type actually he look strong enough to take on Anzu but bear in mind I said take on because to be able to defeat Anzu you would have to be the equivalent to a steroid munching animal…with rabies. Trust me I know I , once I tried to fight her and about ten seconds after that I got my head slammed against a wall and a very painful concussion. I was lucky I woke up I think its because I'm her best friend *sigh* such friendly love it's the little things that count.

Anyway he had jet black eyes and his semi long hair was silky, kinda hot *cough* I mean his horrible hair because I totally didn't like him because we didn't want to be there so he was the ENEMY!

He also walked like he was the king, soo cocky (mental spit) I hate cocky. He stood before us and began informing us "My name is Uchiha Itachi I'm the chief of police" and before we could introduce ourselves he cut across us ( such a nice first impression so far) "here are some forms to fill out and I am aware that you guys gave some of my men a lot of trouble" Anzu answered "wait, wait hold up those tyres were faulty we helped you" "yeah, yeah you should pay us because we avoided a serious accident waiting to happen" I helped "we saved lives" we said together. "well I had to put one of my men on leave what did you say in the car ?"he asked, "oh, nothing , you know the usual" "really you had to put a guy on leave jeez, well we do have that effect on people" I told Itachi.

Then a tall blonde came barging in and started rambling on about being late and something about being attacked by local cats (this didn't even seem to faze Itachi (poor guy seemed used to it ) Itachi sighed "this here is my partner Deidera". He strode over to Anzu put out his hand out and said "heey hun what's a pretty face like you doing here" Anzu looked like she was about to have a fit and glared at him (ok at this point I was praying he would stop because she was going to hit him SO HARD) and of course the stupid bastard continued, "so, how about you tell me your name and we get together this Saturday?" " Deidera stop, this is Anzu and Ai and they are here for the Orochimaru case so cut it out!" said Itachi. Deidera did stop so we then got back to the case details. "ok well we need a bit of time to decide where to send you girls so you have to stay here tonight" Itachi told us. He then led us to our room the corridors of the station were long and seemed endless and our room had a bunk beds and an on-suit which seemed fairly descent enough. "I get top bunk" roared Anzu. "I'll come back in awhile and check on you and I'll reveal where you guys will be sent tomorrow morning" said Itachi "okay you can go now and we'll see you in awhile" then me and Anzu gave him a little girly wave which we could tell he despised (ok so we enjoyed his pain but just a little bit…kinda). As soon as he left I said to Anzu "ok so we're at least going to attempt to escape right?" "definitely" she answered. About five minutes later Itachi arrived in to find Anzu and me dangling out side the window and Anzu roaring abusive comments at the police station about the size of the window frames. "Crap we've got company" I muttered as I craned my neck around to see Itachi standing in the doorway looking pretty mad. I awkwardly yanked myself back into the room where as Anzu refused to surrender and yelled "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE !" and tried to hurl herself the rest of the way out of the window but Itachi and I each grabbed a leg and were in the process of bringing her back in when Deidera came running across yelling "I'll save you" but came a bit late because we had just pulled her in so he just ended up running full force in to her which she responded to by (once again) smacking him across the head (and I don't know about Itachi but I was beginning to worry for the safety of Deidera's head). But at the point we definitely had more pressing matters to worry about because we had just been caught red handed in our almost-great escape by Itachi who didn't look like he was about to let this one slide. " Ai and Anzu I have NEVER meet anyone in my life that could cause as much trouble in such a short amount of time as you, I will have to tell my father about this" "your going to tell your dad on us ha who is he like the owner of the station" Anzu taunted "that's exactly who he is" "oh, my bad" then Itachi finished with "this will effect where you will be placed in the witness protection program I will come back soon and I will have you watched like a hawk and no windows or mental break-downs this time if you don't mind" and with that he turned and walked away (well at this point we REALLY hated him and were dreading where we were going to be put even more then before, damn)

_**Itachi's p.o.v**_

They were head wrecking and most of the time I could keep my cool but it really seem like each moment with them shortened my life and took away a hell of a lot of my sanity. Anyway I was on my way to my fathers office to tell him about the two girls and find out what his decision on where to put them was. "Hello father?" I called out as I entered his office. "Yes, Itachi why are you here I just talked to you about where to send Ai and Anzu, is there some problem about the location?" "Actually there is when I got back to their room they were attempting to escape out the window of the room! They need round-the clock supervision or they might succeed the next time and I don't think the current location is right" "Escape? Well they are a handful well it's settled then they will live in an assigned house in the Uchiha police station grounds with you and your partner Deidera" at that point I wasn't sure which I would have a heart attack or a stroke "WHAT please father no I mean them living on the complex is one thing but living in the same house as them is- is just…" "no Itachi what better place for you to keep an eye on them you can see them twenty- four seven and they will also go to the police station with you and be there while you work okay so run along and tell them the news and here is the key to the house" he then threw me the key and before I knew it my legs were taking me back to the room to tell Ai and Anzu that they would be living with me and Deidera in a house on the Uchiha grounds what the hell had I gotten myself into!


	3. Smartie Cookies

**A/N : Thank you for all the reviews that you left they were so awesomely inspiring! Ok so here is chapter three hope you like it!**

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Ok so when we heard that we had to live with Itachi and Deidara, well I was seriously considering the window again and Anzu kept slamming her head against the wall (well actually it was my head but you know it was the same thing for Anzu and I was pretty used to it by now!).

We had most of our stuff packed and had it brought to the house already.

Itachi and Deidara were already there so all that was left was for me and Anzu to get to the house and it was in walking distance so we headed out for our latest adventure\ mission.

Adventure being living in a new place with loads of new things that we would do and mission meaning KILL Itachi and Deidara (ok so maybe not kill but hell if we were going to be forced to stay there we were going to have a bit of fun) and maybe Anzu might kill Deidara but hey there were some things that were not within my power of stopping.

"Come on you're going to have to come!" I said for the thousand time to Anzu.

"Like I said before there's no way in hell that I'm going to live with them" she hurled back at me from the wardrobe of the empty room which we were supposed to be leaving.

"It's them or Orochimaru" I taunted. I definitely didn't want to bring him into it but I was running out of options!

"I'll take Orla" (Anzu code for Orochimaru).

"You will come because I took the liberty of getting Itachi to buy…SMARTIE COOKIES" for the record Anzu, and this may come as a shock has a weakness (go ahead gasp with shock) but they're smartie cookies as you probably already guessed so if ever in an extremely difficult situation with her smartie cookies are the way to go, trust me.

As expected without a moments hesitation Anzu burst out of the wardrobe "let us go" she roared.

"FOR SMARTIE COOKIES" we both yelled in our best "leader of an army during massive battle in the Lord of The Rings" impression then we both raced out of the room and headed for our new house.

The Uchiha police grounds were not that big but knowing us and our super navigational skills we turned what should have been a ten minute walk into two hours of running around freaking out because of course we ran the wrong way.

Eventually, we came to the house because of some great directions (that even we could understand) from a nice old lady so on our way we kept screaming " BLESS THE ELDERLY!".

Anyway we got to the house and the door was open so we came in and to our surprise the place was quite nice especially the kitchen (I really hoped either Itachi or Deidara could cook because I sure as hell couldn't and Anzu, well lets just say that she has a talent for blowing up microwaves).

Itachi was sitting at the table and I noticed he had a gun (as expected of a police officer so I had to ask!). "Wow gun" I exclaimed as I reached for it. "No way" he said a bit alarmed as he backed away slightly.

"I was just kidding… but if you felt the need to let me play with it I couldn't say no" I ventured obviously pushing my luck.

"Yeah, I can totally see it now Itachi gives you his gun and you play a game with it and then ten minutes you'll be telling us how sorry you are for shooting Deidara in the face!" Anzu teased, "who shot me in the face?" Deidara asked as he walked into the kitchen, "oh nobody" Anzu said to him,

"good" he smiled,

"yet" she added smiling sadistically to herself, and Deidara's smile turned into a worried horrified look. I can't really blame him If you ask me because

Its one thing to give me a gun and an entirely different massacre that involves the police and straight jackets if you give one to Anzu. After that we "decorated" the house "to make it more homey" as we told Itachi he had to let us because it was just as much our house as it was his and Deidara but I definitely think he was very reluctant to do so.

Anyway by the time we declared that we were finished there was a picture of a demonic chef on the door of the kitchen and a sign on the door of my room that said "do not enter cultish ritual in progress".

The sitting room had tons of information on the joys satanic worshiping (note: we do not worship satin and we do not participate in any cultish rituals, sadly).

It was definitely a bit of a shock for Itachi and Deidara when they came back from the shop to find all of this especially since we ran around quoting "The Mummy" "death is only the beginning mwahhahhhaaaa" we both yelled.

Ok so I really thought that us living there wasn't going to be fun but to be honest we were having the time of our life.


End file.
